How do you know if you are living with a Voice Over? Signs and habits.

1. You find bins and bins full of "spares" or "backups" but you assume, due to the mass of it, they must run a shop in their spare time.

2. They often ask you repeatedly "Do you think I could get away with being 12?" And then proceed to talk as a small child.

3. You often don't hear them do anything with their voice for 95% of the working day and the all of a sudden they explode into screaming.

4. They often appear to have huge personality shifts. One day they are ecstatic and the other 6 they appear forlorn and often say "I'll never work again". Best to ignore them.

5. You can often find them on LinkedIn with titles that are not just simply "voice over" but more like "I will lift your projects with my godly articulation". Avoid at all costs.

6. You may often see them in groups on Zoom or other video calling platforms reading to other people. Who will then proceed to either batter them ferociously or say what they did was "great". You see no immediate benefit.

7. You often see them spending huge swathes of cash on 30 minute zoom calls, talking to only one other person. You can often overhear this 'other' person saying things like "marketing is key to a thriving business" or "you need a demo, just so happens I provide them too". You assume you will be re-mortgaging the house in the future.

8. They often have huge chunks of your family home covered in foam or other materials. You assume this is a place of work but no clear evidence of it.

9. You often see them, very proudly, claiming they won an award. You believe this to be a good thing but then quickly find out through semi-meticulous questioning that "everyone" has won an award.

10. You can often see them claim to be a "professional" but you cannot see this to be true as you have never seen a professional turn up to work in their underpants.

11. You often hear them say that they did "47 auditions today". They appear proud so you probe a little further and ask excitedly "how many have you gotten then?". They answer 0.

12. They often claim to have many 'leads' which makes you question their sanity as you have no pets. Perhaps they run a pet accessories shop on the side.

13. They appear to be utterly obsessed with things called 'plosives' and 'mouth noise' which makes you question what they actually do.

14. They often say things like 'I have a plug-in for that'. They seem happy with themselves. You assume they are plugging into the Matrix or dealing with dodgy sex things on the side.